A Kiss....

"A Kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature when words become superfluous" - Ingrid Bergman

Kissing.

To me, one of the most intimate interactions you can have with another person. It can either increase chemistry with someone or completely kill it. Good kisses are like presents from the Universe. They can be sweet, passionate, intense, awkward, nervous, some mixture of those emotions, or completely and utterly perfect. Kissing can elevate your status in my book. That being said, bad kisses are an instant deal breaker for me. There is no coming back from that. It will throw you straight into the pit of men I am no longer interested in. ( I know I'm completely awful for saying that but again honesty here is my policy)

We have all had that perfect kiss. It may not have been with the perfect person but it can have the perfect combination of ingredients to make it just right. Both soft and sweet with dashes of intensity and passion. The perfect kiss is not just about the mouths and lips. It is also about hands caressing your hair, and the back of your neck at just the right time that can elevate an otherwise good kiss into a perfect kiss.

 There is also the eye contact. Now you may be saying "Eye contact? When kissing?" I don't mean those weird people that keep their eyes open during kissing ( Yes, I think its weird to do that!!! Have you ever opened your eyes after a kiss to see someone giving you the death stare... eww! This is not good kissing etiquette! Way to ruin the moment! More times than not most guys that do that are not that great at kissing anyway.) What I am referring to is that look that you give each other right as your lips stop touching. Your faces are no more than three inches from each other when you open your eyes and look up. This is where you exchange glances of longing, of tenderness, uncertainty or simply happiness. That look is usually what determines if you are going to continue to kiss or if you aren't.

Bad kisses are the worst. The absolute worst. Ugh! The really sloppy ones are terrible! You end up with all this saliva everywhere but where its supposed to be. That is just plain disgusting. Then there are the ones that use too much tongue. You feel like you are being attacked by an eel. They just wanna do circus tricks with it. Its kissing not Cirque Du Soleil! I usually stop, close my mouth and try and pretend like that kiss never happened. Sometimes when I am feeling generous I try and give them another chance. Hey maybe they were nervous. I have been known to be disarming on occasion. Usually though, the outcome is the same. So I must end my romantic involvement with that guy. I know its cruel but, I CANNOT be with someone that I can't enjoy kissing. Kissing is the precursor to other things and if the kissing is not good more likely than not the other stuff is not good either (Ladies you know what I mean!!)

Now with all that being said. I rarely kiss on the first date. It has to be one spectacular date for me to smooch you the first time we are going out. I will happily give you a peck on the cheek and a hug but no lip to lip contact. The rare occasions that I have done that have been due to incredible first date chemistry. The kind that doesn't come by very often and usually knocks you off your feet. (see previous post if you need clarification as to what I mean...) When that happens the kiss is usually equally as explosive as the chemistry. Those are the guys that I usually date for an extended period of time. Chemistry and passion being the building blocks of those relationships. Those relationships have been the ones that have made me grow, learn, and have left me a changed woman.

Kissing is an indicator of things to come. It is an act of intimacy. It is a form of touch. A way to express feelings you cannot verbalize. Since it is my belief that actions speak louder than words, this action is sometimes the only way to say exactly what you don't know how.

When you find that person you enjoy kissing do it often. A good kiss between lovers only brings you closer. When couples have been together for a long time, they sometimes forget to kiss. The ins and outs of everyday life get in the way and pretty soon they feel disconnected. They forget the power of a kiss. How it can build anticipation and remind you of the initial connection you had with that person. So kiss and kiss often but always do it well. If not practice till you get it just right!

- E.C.